SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Eyewitness accounts, made by dependable minimum wage employees at the Justice Court of Salt Lake City, of just a few of the criminal masterminds that meander through the Utah justice system.
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BAGHDAD, IRAQ – While much of the western media dwells on civilian casualties from unchecked sectarian and insurgent violence, Department of Defense officials insist there’s a bright story of improved quality of life and renewed municipal services hiding behind the bloodshed and shrill, screaming shrapnel.
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When I saw this super-dooper support-the-troop-ish commercial during the Super Bowl, I thought, “Budweiser – you came so close.”

Being a giver, I tightened the content focus by tagging on a new ending, all to help spread that “Good News” message we just don’t hear enough in today’s biased media.

Enjoy.

SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, CA – In a gushing outpour of compassion for the beleaguered citizens of New Orleans, the California porn industry offered all it’s current A- and B-list video stars to drain the city of the unwanted salty fluids left behind by 2005’s Hurricane Katrina.
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OTTAWA, CANADA – In a 14-hour operation requiring two teams of cardiac surgeons, the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was successfully removed from a Christian man’s heart.
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WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a vote that spilled across partisan lines, members of the Senate agreed it was high-time to pull the plug on Republicans, long-considered either brain-dead or -damaged by doctors.
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HOLLYWOOD, CA – While Martin Scorcese is still smarting from the one-two combination delivered by “Million Dollar Baby,” LL-N notes the big story nobody is talking about.

Neither Jimmy Smits nor Shelley Long received an Academy Award. Again.
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