When I saw this super-dooper support-the-troop-ish commercial during the Super Bowl, I thought, “Budweiser – you came so close.”
Being a giver, I tightened the content focus by tagging on a new ending, all to help spread that “Good News” message we just don’t hear enough in today’s biased media.
Enjoy.

SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, CA – In a gushing outpour of compassion for the beleaguered citizens of New Orleans, the California porn industry offered all it’s current A- and B-list video stars to drain the city of the unwanted salty fluids left behind by 2005’s Hurricane Katrina.

OTTAWA, CANADA – In a 14-hour operation requiring two teams of cardiac surgeons, the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was successfully removed from a Christian man’s heart.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a vote that spilled across partisan lines, members of the Senate agreed it was high-time to pull the plug on Republicans, long-considered either brain-dead or -damaged by doctors.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – While Martin Scorcese is still smarting from the one-two combination delivered by “Million Dollar Baby,” LL-N notes the big story nobody is talking about.
Neither Jimmy Smits nor Shelley Long received an Academy Award. Again.

PEARLY GATES – Allowed into Heaven under a little-known but well-argued “heart in the right place” provision in the Book of Life, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson was quickly reported to be acting “less than celestial.”

KANSAS CITY, KS – In a moment many agree has long been coming, Rachel Wullstein delivered the final “bitch slap” ever, giving it good to her promptly ex-boyfriend Tommy Warner.