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Archive for the 'Local' Category

Campus Stabber Still Pissed at Campus Shooter’s Timing

by @ Tuesday, May 1st, 2007. Filed under Local, Politics & Culture

GUNNISON, CO – Wearing black and looking more sullen than usual, Anthony Delamore says recent campus shootings which grabbed news headlines really piss him off. “I was planning a school stabbing spree on every day some hoodie-wearing prick took the easy way and shoots himself a bunch of sheeple. Seriously – you can check my [...]

LL-N Ponders: The Crazed Gunman

by @ Tuesday, February 13th, 2007. Filed under LL-N Ponders, Local, Politics & Culture

Once again, we are shaken and shocked to learn some amped punk has gone on a murderous rampage. This time it was in my hometown of Salt Lake City, Utah (where the crazies are more likely to carry concealed spouses than concealed weapons) – but we know it can and does happen anywhere. And once [...]

True Stories from the Salt Lake City Justice Court

by @ Friday, September 1st, 2006. Filed under Local

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Eyewitness accounts, made by dependable minimum wage employees at the Justice Court of Salt Lake City, of just a few of the criminal masterminds that meander through the Utah justice system.

Last Bitch Slap Delivered

by @ Wednesday, June 21st, 2006. Filed under Local, Sex & Relationships

KANSAS CITY, KS – In a moment many agree has long been coming, Rachel Wullstein delivered the final “bitch slap” ever, giving it good to her promptly ex-boyfriend Tommy Warner.

Man Born With Immunity to Breasts

by @ Wednesday, June 21st, 2006. Filed under Local, Sex & Relationships

Michael Kierney had an uncommon developmental problem so fundamental, friends had to look sharp to point it out to him.

Utah Mother of Three Ready for First Orgasm

by @ Wednesday, June 21st, 2006. Filed under Local, Sex & Relationships

KAYSVILLE, UTAH – After seven years of marriage to husband Boyd, Barbara Packer feels that something just might be missing.

Excuse Me, Sir?

by @ Monday, June 19th, 2006. Filed under Local, Sex & Relationships

Before you leave for the evening, Mr. Roth, I need to have a word with you.

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